Life passes by like a wink and we do not often realize this. When young we are always busy chasing dreams, establishing our careers, home and bringing up a family that there is absolutely no thought of time given to ourselves. It is only when the children have grown and left home and we are nearing retirement age that the reality strikes us. We then realize that we are heading towards the last chapter of our life and have to move into a retirement home soon.
Today the retirement homes have improved both in qualities of service as well as in terms of infrastructure. You have a number of establishments that you can choose from and enjoy living a comfortable life. But then choosing the right one is very important and has to be done diligently.
While broaching the subject of retirement, be careful and have patience while dealing with your parents. It does take them a while to get used to the idea. You would also need to look around and visit all retirement homes that are in your area and fall within your budget.
You need to draw up a list of key parameters that are very important for you based on which you can evaluate the retirement home and choose the best one. Some of the key parameters may include proximity of family and friends, the availability of medical assistance, the size of the room, the programs conducted, the quality of meals etc. If the retirement home allows for guests to stay for a few days, it would be worthwhile staying there on trial to ensure you have made the right choice.
For your parents accepting the idea might take a while and accept the fact that they have to sell their home and move out. This being a sensitive issue, no time frame can be drawn up. It is only when they accept and are ready to move on in their own time that you can facilitate and make things happen.
They are likely to take a while to sort out their things before they are ready to pack and move on. It is quite natural that when they start sorting things out, they will get emotional and sensitive for the good old memories will keep coming back. You should allow them to relive those moments as long as they want and not rush them into anything. This is the time when they need you to be patient and kind.
What you can do to make things better is to show understanding, kindness and be there with them, supporting them. It is important to spend lots of time with them now as it is an emotional moment and they need you to stand by them. Even when they move in until they are settled and comfortable, keep very close contact and be there for them every moment.
This step of selling home and moving into an assisted living will mean major change in your parent’s life and is bound to have emotional repercussions on their psyche as well as physical health too. You can make a difference by being there all through with them.
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